Lance Berkman has the best walkup song in the history of baseball.
Matt Holliday has the worst walkup song in the history of baseball.
There are certain rules regarding what constitutes a great walkup song (for those who know absolutely nothing about baseball, I will explain and say that I am confused but flattered that you're reading this unnecessarily detailed baseball-related post). First, the explanation I promised--a walkup song is the song which plays when a batter comes to the plate and in most stadiums, including Busch Stadium in St. Louis, a pop (as in non-classical) song is played.
Now, players get to select, so I have absolutely no qualms about judging a player's choice. The first rule is "Pick a good song." The second is "Pick a song that fits the moment." Lance Berkman passes both tests with flying colors with his walkup song, Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down.' For those unfamiliar with the song (if you've watched a television commercial in the last year, you shouldn't be), it's one of Cash's later songs. The song is, first of all, a good song. It's sparse, haunting, and takes full advantage of Johnny Cash's talk-singing style. It has a fairly indescribable genre--it's listed as country, folk, and gospel by Wikipedia, but I would also note that it has distinct blues elements as well. It's also heavier than most metal. As far as I'm concerned it's his best song in the last 30 years of his career.
But the reason Lance's choice of Johnny Cash makes for a truly great walkup song is the way it starts and the way the song sounds and feels at Busch Stadium. The song has a very heavy bass sound at the beginning, so when played at a stadium, you get not only Johnny Cash's borderline perfect voice but you also get the thunder of the minimalist instrumentation. It's sort of the complete opposite of the Prince song 'Kiss' (which isn't to say one song is bad--both songs are in fact great) in that once all the bullshit was stripped away from the conventional production of the given icon, the results are freaking magic. The lyrics also add a certain profoundness to the experience--when I was at a game earlier this year where Lance came to the plate with a chance to win it in the bottom of the ninth and I heard the line "You can run on for a long time, but sooner or later God'll cut you down", it felt like Lance was God and Antonio Bastardo was about to get cut down.
Matt Holliday, on the other hand, went the completely wrong route in picking a walkup song. He went with the Zac Brown Band and 'Chicken Fried.' Now, while the Zac Brown Band isn't particularly good (some people will swear they're immense talents, but these are the same people who said the same damn thing about Rascal Flatts a few years ago), they're far from the worst band in the world. The reason they suck for making walkup music is several fold. First, a large quantity of Cardinal fans have no effing idea who Zac Brown is. There are very few musical artists that everybody, regardless of gender, race, or age, is familiar with to at least a point of knowing a few songs. The Beatles, Queen, Michael Jackson, the well aforementioned Johnny Cash. Zac Brown Band, while popular with a certain group of people, have virtually no rapport with anyone over fifty or who are in a racial minority. Even if people who otherwise listen to Lil Wayne aren't really listening to a ton of Johnny Cash, there's at least a level of respect. Saying you don't like Johnny Cash is like saying you don't like Coca Cola--very few would say so, but if somebody says they don't like one of these two, I will immediately dismiss them as an overly cynical asshole.
But I digress. When I hear 'Chicken Fried' come on, I become instantly annoyed. Hearing the jangly-for-novelty rhythms doesn't make me excited for the impending at-bat, it just makes me wanting the Holliday at-bat to end so I can be excited by Lance Berkman. Now, admittedly I'm not a huge country music fan and obviously I'm not a Zac Brown fan, but that's not to say that every song I like would make for good walkup music. The following artists that I like would be terrible for walkup songs--Pink Floyd, The Doors (with any song other than 'Break on Through'), Lynyrd Skynyrd (it's been done, it's not good), The Police (this is my favorite all-time band I'm talking about here--their music doesn't work for exciting, visceral pump-up jamming). It's not that these bands are bad--it's that for the environment, it doesn't work. A lot of people love the Sex Pistols, but it doesn't mean the first dance at their wedding is 'Holidays in the Sun'.
A few memorable walkup/bullpen entry songs. Chipper Jones and 'Crazy Train' (a complex song overall, but whose utterly simple intro is the part of the song that everybody knows and loves). Mariano Rivera and 'Enter Sandman' (heavy guitar riff, a song title serving as a de facto message). Trevor Hoffman and 'Hells Bells' (it's pretty damn simple--a slowly ringing bell sounds cool). Johnathan Papelbon and 'I'm Shipping Up to Boston' (good intro, he's in effing Boston). Mark McGwire and 'Welcome to the Jungle' (a great memorable opening, the appropriateness of him picking a song by constant drug users). Lance Berkman belongs in this class. Matt Holliday needs to go back to music selection school.
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