Sunday, February 17, 2013

Why I Hate Michael Jordan

This sounds like heresy, being a 24 year-old Chicago Bulls fan, but I cannot stand Michael Jordan.

It's partially his fault, and it's partially the fault of the media that made him the unfathomably huge star that he became. It's Michael Jordan's 50th birthday and ESPN will absolutely NOT SHUT UP about it. It's insanity. I get that he's generally accepted as the greatest of all-time in his sport, but do you know when Wayne Gretzky's birthday is? Do you know Pele's birthday? Any of the dozen or so living NFL alumni often regarded as the greatest ever? Because I don't. Nor do I feel like they've been slighted--who cares? But why does MJ get all of the attention?

Michael Jordan is one of the greatest players in NBA history; this I will not dispute. I will dispute that he is THE greatest player of all-time, and I will sure as Hell dispute that he's so clearly the greatest player of all-time that any suggestions to the contrary are blasphemy. Wilt Chamberlain, in 1961-62, averaged 50.4 PPG, 25.7 RPG, and averaged 48.5 MPG (seriously, he averaged more minutes than exist in a regular NBA game). Nobody else besides Wilt has averaged 40 in a season. Wilt did it twice. Wilt had four straight seasons in which he outscored MJ's best season. And don't give me the totally BS argument of how it was easier to do that in Wilt's era--if it was easier, how come nobody else did it? Sure, Jordan had more rings than Wilt Chamberlain (6 to 2). Bill Russell had eleven. Hell, Robert Horry had seven. Teammates matter in the equation. It's not an individual accomplishment.

But my problem really isn't that people think Jordan is the best NBA player ever because there is certainly a compelling case that he is. But that people refuse to even consider alternatives. Saying MJ isn't the best NBA player ever unreservedly is tantamount to saying the Beatles aren't the greatest band ever--siding with MJ or the Beatles is a safe and not terrible opinion, but it's not such a goddamned blowout that conversation isn't merited. People freak out and get upset if Lebron James is compared to Michael Jordan. And I don't even think James is in MJ's class yet but why can't we at least discuss it? Lebron is a better rebounder and arguably a better defender; MJ is a better scorer by a lot but IT'S A DISCUSSION PEOPLE.

But the real problem with MJ isn't that he's overrated as a player; it's that he's overrated as a person.

A lot of people like to cite Michael Jordan's importance as a marketer and as a corporate icon. Won't dispute it. I will dispute that this is something he should be proud of. I don't blame him for it: This is capitalism and he has every right to shill for every product under the sun if he wants to do so. And I also have the right to point out that he's a corporate whore. He was certainly more important to Madison Avenue than, say, Muhammad Ali, but that doesn't make him more admirable. Ali alienated large portions of the country through his actions and what he said. Jim Brown (who also has a birthday today) used his status as an elite athlete to promote civil rights causes. Let's not even get started on Jackie Robinson. Michael Jordan's contribution to society is selling overpriced shoes. 

To me, the definitive MJ moment isn't one of the championships or great highlights--it's his response when he was asked in 1990 why he wouldn't endorse Harvey Gantt against Jesse Helms in a North Carolina Senate election (Sidebar: This shouldn't be viewed historically as a battle between a Democrat and a Republican--it should be viewed as Anybody vs. Jesse Helms). His response was the legendarily weak-kneed line "Republicans buy sneakers, too." Yep, that's why he didn't make what had to be the least controversial partisan political endorsement ever. Not even necessarily that he DISAGREED that Harvey Gantt was the superior candidate. Just that he wanted to make a few more bucks. Again, his right, but this shows all that needs to be said about the fact that Michael Jordan aspired to be a corporation unto himself. All the things people have ripped Tiger Woods for--being a bland, boring superstar who whitewashed any negativity in his private life for the sake of expanding his bank account--applied to Michael Jordan a decade prior.

The last decade since MJ's retirement has proven something I always suspected--Jordan is really only good at basketball. He failed as an executive, helping the Wizards sink to new lows and now being behind the worst NBA franchise mess, the Charlotte Bobcats, of my lifetime. He failed as a gambler, losing millions. He failed as a husband, being divorced amidst adultery. His Hall of Fame speech was legendarily self-serving and vicious, excoriating his currently-homeless high school basketball coach. Hell, his Birmingham Barons career might have been his third-best facet (behind basketball and using his basketball skill to sell things).

With all of that said, I loved watching Michael Jordan play. He was terrific on the court. I wish the sports media would shut up about him for two seconds so perhaps we as a people could go back to enjoying him again.

1 comment:

  1. hate him too. He dosen'r care for anyone but himself. All that money but dosen't see him giving up anything. Dosen't give anyone PROPS!

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