25. Grenade—Bruno Mars: “Grenade” was the third consecutive Bruno Mars-featured single to reach #1, and while he was already starting to establish himself as a bankable star, this was the first one on which he showed a potential energy to enable him to write enduring songs. Unlike the sheer sentimentality of “Just The Way You Are” or his chorus on B.o.B.’s “Nothin’ on You”, Bruno displays the full breadth of his impressive vocal range via his heartbreak. “Grenade” wasn’t his first good pop song, but it was his first good pop song that hinted at somebody with potential for greatness.
24. Sexy And I Know It—LMFAO: “Sexy And I Know It” was divisive in ways that I’m not sure it would have been later in the decade, but in 2011, America wasn’t quite ready to embrace the silly pleasures of this goofy duo. It’s amazing, in retrospect, that anyone took them seriously—they were named after a chat acronym, went by the member names RedFoo and SkyBlu, and included a verse consisting entirely of repeating the word “wiggle” while using the lyric “Girl look at that body—I work out!” as a hook. Of course it was a joke, but the thumping bass and synthesizers made the song earnestly infectious.
23. Rude Boy—Rihanna: There was a stretch in the late 2000s and early 2010s where Rihanna shot straight to the top of the pop chart seemingly thanks to our collective muscle memory, and her ode to Jamaican ska culture wasn’t merely found in the title—“Rude Boy” is an arena-fied version of distinctly Caribbean sounds. Admittedly, the slower verses and bridge are a bit undercooked, but perhaps it was unfair to expect her to maintain the rapid delivery of the chorus and pre-chorus for a full four minutes.
22. Truth Hurts—Lizzo: Assuming you were able to traverse the endless hyper-serious thinkpieces in 2019 ascribing broader significance to Lizzo, one got the pleasure of sitting back and enjoying really fun pop music. While Lizzo is far from a crooner, her turns of phrase and charisma bleed through in her casual, half-sung half-rapped delivery, and while the lyrics are hardly poetry, “Truth Hurts” has two or three of the most memorable lines of the decade.
21. Locked Out of Heaven—Bruno Mars: It became such a vital part of the Bruno Mars narrative that it’s easy to forget how out of left field “Locked Out of Heaven” was for him. The song was inspired by the reggae/new wave of The Police (while “Message in a Bottle” was the most oft-cited influence, I jump to “Masoko Tango”, but I’m also a Police nerd), but once the song emerges from the obvious in the intro and verses, the chorus comes in full force, and while the song never charted on the rock charts, the pounding drums in conjunction with Bruno’s confident vocal are as firmly entrenched in arena rock as any number-one hit of the decade.
20. Old Town Road—Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus: That this song went three months lingering in the lower reaches of genre charts and then, after a mini-controversy over the song’s genre categorization, became the longest-running number-one in the history of the Billboard pop charts is a testament to the viral nature of the song and of the era, but it’s also a testament to a genre that was a massive cultural force throughout the 2010s but didn’t manage to hit #1 until 2019—country rap. While the song’s omission from country charts isn’t without logic, the same could be said of many of the chart’s more hip-hop influenced tracks of recent years. And although Lil Nas X isn’t a great technical rapper or singer, whichever you want to call it, his charisma made him an easy artist to root for, and the song’s sampling of Nine Inch Nails’s ambient “34 Ghosts IV” is one of the more effective, creative samples of the era.
19. Blank Space—Taylor Swift: Following up the borderline novelty song that was “Shake It Off”, Taylor Swift ventured back into her increasingly sophisticated pop sensibilities with “Blank Space”. The song had electropop flourishes but the star of the show is Swift’s lyrics, which are among the strongest of the decade’s number-ones. Much of the Taylor Swift media discourse of the early part of the decade aged terribly (a bunch of dudes fixated way too much on a woman in her early twenties not finding a nice boy and settling down) and this sly dig at those who hounded her personal life seemed to stop such takes in their tracks.
18. Blurred Lines—Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell Williams: Despite being one of the best-selling singles of all-time and spending nearly the entire summer of 2013 atop the pop charts, it’s nearly impossible to find people in 2019 willing to admit to the song’s virtues. While the lyrics were kind of clumsy (though far less overtly anti-consent than, say, the far less thoroughly canceled “Baby It’s Cold Outside”) and the T.I. rap verse is deeply unnecessary, the production is a throwback to the minimalist style Pharrell had taken to dominating pop radio a decade earlier. And if the Marvin Gaye estate was able to successfully sue the songwriters for plagiarism of “Got to Give It Up”, it is a minor miracle that Oasis weren’t sued for roughly half the songs they ever released, and I say this as somebody who loves Oasis.
17. Imma Be—Black Eyed Peas: “Imma Be” was a relatively minor hit for the band that dominated the pop charts in 2009, but it aged far better than the mega-hits “Boom Boom Pow” or “I Gotta Feeling”. While the first half of the song is already an improvement, with its sparse production a particular asset during Fergie’s verse, the second half is where the song goes from acceptable pop radio presence to something far more interesting—a synth and bass driven bit of bravado that cements “Imma Be” as among the weirdest chart-toppers of the decade and easily the track off “The E.N.D.” that most encapsulates the hyper-futuristic aesthetic to which the group was aiming.
16. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together—Taylor Swift: Swift’s first not-at-all-country pop song, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” combines idiosyncratically paced verses that evokes anger, but with the simple, anthemic chorus, it becomes readily apparent that Taylor Swift isn’t just pretending to break up (think John Waite’s “Missing You”)—she is confident and poised and angry not at the person with whom her relationship has ended, but at the implication that she isn’t confident and poised in the breakup itself. That the song still got some country radio airplay and was even nominated for a CMT Music Award was a matter of delayed reaction: from this point forward, there was no question that Taylor Swift was going to define her future recordings in exactly her terms.
15. Starboy—The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk: The Weeknd’s music was characterized by its dark R&B energy and Daft Punk’s music was characterized by fun danceability, and “Starboy” managed to combine the two. Ultimately, while the lyrics are still on the darker side, the song leans slightly more to the French electronic duo’s sound, and the piano and drum machines give the song a mechanical feel that plays off The Weeknd’s earnestness.
14. S&M—Rihanna ft. Britney Spears: A brief mea culpa—I never heard the Britney Spears remix until I started doing this list (it's fine, though I prefer the original). But the same thing makes either version effective—the thumping, hyper-electronic instrumentation and Rihanna’s “na na na come on” vocal hook that comprises its chorus. The song received some criticism for its, to put it lightly, straightforward lyrics, but that the song’s primary hook is so simple is all the evidence that should be necessary to conclude that if you were listening that closely to the lyrics, you were missing the appeal of the song, which was to be played loudly at clubs and not carefully pondered or considered.
13. Teenage Dream—Katy Perry: While her work up until this point had been characterized by hyper-juvenile songs aimed primarily at tweens, “Teenage Dream” was a quantum leap forward and remains Katy Perry’s best song. Despite the title literally referring to youth, the song is lyrically one of an adult’s reminiscence, and while it isn’t without its dance flourishes, it is also at heart a somewhat straightforward pop-rock song that could have easily passed as an acoustic guitar ballad had it come from somebody else’s discography.
12. Can’t Stop the Feeling!—Justin Timberlake: Following his teenybopper boy band days, Justin Timberlake reached popular and critical acclaim as a solo artist by traveling darker roads. And with “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”, Timberlake turned the car around and hit the accelerator like he was drag racing. But while the song is every bit as cheesy and corny as you would expect from a song on the soundtrack to a DreamWorks movie based on toys, it was also deliriously fun. Heavily inspired by Michael Jackson-style disco-pop, the song broke absolutely no new ground, but in an increasingly fractured music landscape, there’s also something heartening about a song whose popularity can bridge generational gaps.
11. thank u, next—Ariana Grande: Most pop songs about failed relationships take one of two stances: either the relationship’s end is a devastating, crushing blow which could never be overcome, or the other party is a horrible monster who must be hated. But in “thank u, next”, Ariana Grande takes a refreshing and frankly more realistic perspective. She speaks of her ex-boyfriends in neutral-to-favorable terms but never regrets dating them, because they made her the person she is today. And yet the song never jumps into saccharine territory—the vocals are understated but immaculate and the production is reserved in a way that gives the lyrics an additional layer of sincerity.
The 10 Worst Number One Hits of the 2010s
It’s hard not to get excited when the number-one song in the United States is a legitimately good song. It makes me feel like we’re heading in the right direction, not because a song so good could be made, but because a song so good could be made and we, collectively as a society, could nod in approval. But the reason this is so exciting is because a lot of number-one songs are terrible.
I decided to keep my list of the ten worst number-ones of the decade shorter than my list of the best number-ones because I’m trying to leave cynicism in the 2010s. I won’t succeed, but I think if I at least try, I’ll make some progress. But at the same time, it’s important to remember our past failures so that we, as a society, can grow and improve. And when this sub-list is concluded, I will unveil my full 116 song list ranking all of the number one songs of the 2010s. May we never have a pop music year as terrible as 2014 again.
10. Nothin’ on You—B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars: One artist cracked my top ten greatest and worst songs of the decade, though Bruno Mars really shouldn’t be blamed here—his chorus is perfectly fine and if the verses had been at the same level, the song likely would’ve found itself in the anonymous middle of the list. But the brief popularity of B.o.B, a rapper who lacks even a semblance of the pop sensibilities of a Drake or the stadium-ready power delivery of a Kendrick Lamar, was baffling. The clumsiness of the lyrics (he tells a girl she’s “got a fro like a Nintendo 64” and once compliments said girl that she pays her taxes) could be forgiven in a song that is trying to be funny, but this one feels totally sincere.
9. Sunflower—Post Malone and Swae Lee: For most songs by either Post Malone or Swae Lee (the latter is mostly known for his work with Rae Sremmurd), I find myself in the camp that it just isn’t for me—it embraces a style of hip-hop that I missed the boat on, and I have to examine the songs with that knowledge in mind. But “Sunflower” isn’t that, because there isn’t any rapping on it. While the song is typically categorized as R&B, it is musically in the general vicinity of indie-pop. Which is fine, and it’s an interesting departure for the artists, but the song is then dependent on Post Malone and Swae Lee as vocalists. The song might work with stronger singers, but this duo are at best replacement level at crooning.
8. Roar—Katy Perry: Katy Perry vowed that her 2013 album was going to be darker and more experimental than the bubblegum that made up the bulk of “Teenage Dream”, she led off promotion of it with “Roar”, which may be the single most derivative number-one hit of the 2010s. It’s not the worst, because Katy Perry is a capable vocalist and her vocal performance is solid throughout the song, but the song itself does her no favors. The lyrics are an endless string of clichés that suggest some sense of empowerment but never go beyond the surface, and musically, the song was rightfully accused as derivative of Sara Bareillis’s “Brave”. I don’t think it was actual plagiarism, but by August 2013, the melody of “Roar” had missed its window to have any real cultural impact.
7. Fancy—Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX: In hopes of maintaining some level of optimism, I’m going to give “Fancy” a compliment sandwich, where I say a nice thing about it, and then a negative thing about it, but then I return to a positive thing about it. A nice thing: the music video, which was an homage to the film “Clueless”, was really fun. A not-nice thing: Iggy Azalea is the most embarrassingly terrible rapper to ever reach #1 on the charts, and the fact that her cultural appropriation-fueled impersonation of southern hip-hop fell out of fashion within a year of this song’s release was perhaps the most predictable thing to happen in pop music all decade. A nice thing: Charli XCX’s Gwen Stefani impression in the chorus is credible as the only memorable part of the song, and had the entire song been her doing that for three minutes and nineteen seconds, I probably wouldn’t have hated it.
6. Harlem Shake—Baauer: “Harlem Shake” was the first of several number-ones this decade to reach #1 largely on the strength of being at the center of a meme, and this ranking is not a reflection on my opinion of how hilarious (or not hilarious) a bunch of people showing up in the frame after a beat drop is. It is, rather, a reflection on a generic novelty song that serves more as a reminder of a brief cultural moment than as, well, a song. The song bears more resemblance to the DJ-centric form of hip-hop that became popular in the late aughts, but when DJs would hit the upper reaches of the pop charts for the remainder of the decade, they would mercifully do so with songs that were more than just a repetitive bass beat.
5. Girls Like You—Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B: Over the course of a decade and a half, Maroon 5 went from credible pop-rock band to a mixed bag with intermittently good songs to a band that released an album, “Red Pill Blues”, in which all seven members appear on the cover using Snapchat filters and with facial expressions that suggest they’ve been sentenced to a long prison sentence. “Girls Like You” is an extension of the Maroon 5 subgenre of songs about being a dirtbag, which on some level I respect, but this particular song is completely lethargic. Adam Levine sounds like he’s on the verge of falling asleep the entire song, and by the end of it, I want a nap. One might think the presence of Cardi B, who is nothing if not energetic, might help the song save face, but her rap verse is more confusing than refreshing.
4. Perfect—Ed Sheeran ft. Beyonce: Ed Sheeran got a lot of grief in the late 2010s for making cheesy music, and while some of it was deserved, it was mostly fine. A song like “Thinking Out Loud” was a corny pop ballad but it also could be credibly called the logical mainstream extension of Van Morrison. But with “Perfect”, Ed Sheeran is making a deeply cynical attempt at wedding reception slow dance immortality, and the lyrics are too saccharine to possibly qualify as representing any real sentiment. The presence of Beyonce doesn’t help matters because the problem with the original solo version isn’t Sheeran’s voice—it’s that the song is slow and plodding and boring and hook-less. I’m not sure what it says about us as a culture that in a decade where Beyonce became arguably the most vital album artist alive, her lone #1 hit was this nonsense, but I can’t imagine it’s anything good.
3. All About That Bass—Meghan Trainor: I wouldn’t oppose a doo-wop revival song hitting #1 (so long as it wasn’t a sustained “thing”), but “All About That Bass” is a regressive mess of a song well beyond that much of its music sounds nearly sixty years old. Trainor would reveal in later songs that she actually has some vocal chops, but she reveals none of them on this track, opting instead for a strange southern hip-hop influenced delivery that sounds like what someone from Nantucket thinks someone from Atlanta sounds like. Lyrically, the song attempts to be about body positivity, but instead attacks those who look different from the protagonist, using the same awful message but from a different perspective. But hey, the percussion in the final chorus is fun.
2. Rude—Magic!: There was a rise in the early part of the decade in (mostly Police-inspired) reggae-fusion, and much of it was successful as harmless pop fun if nothing else, but in three minutes and forty-four seconds, Canadian one-hit wonders Magic! managed to single-handedly kill the trend. The problems with this song are numerous—the bizarre lyrics (I can see why this man doesn’t want you to marry his daughter, Guy From Magic!), the soulless vocals, and an emotionally vacant chorus that can be overcome in much of reggae when the singer is at least displaying some semblance of passion. Lead vocalist Nasri seems to barely actually care that his prospective father-in-law said no to his question—that insincerity made this song absolutely excruciating.
1. Moves Like Jagger—Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera: Hating Maroon 5 became a default opinion a while back, but I would dare say that prior to “Moves Like Jagger”, every single they had ever released was no worse than adequate. But from the insufferable opening whistle solo through the generic dance beat through Adam Levine’s completely gratuitous chorus falsettos through Christina Aguilera’s illogically passionate delivery during her guest appearance, “Moves Like Jagger” is irredeemable. This song is all of Adam Levine’s worst tendencies on display at once, and the finished product is completely soulless. Christina Aguilera could have potentially saved some of the song late, but instead, her performance is outright confusing—her level of emotion really makes me wonder (Maroon 5 pun!) if she realized when she recorded it that she was recording a verse on a dance-pop song with the title “Moves Like Jagger”. This entire song is a mess.
THE FULL LIST
1. Rolling in the Deep--Adele
2. Uptown Funk--Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
3. Havana--Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug
4. bad guy--Billie Eilish
5. HUMBLE.--Kendrick Lamar
6. Look What You Made Me Do--Taylor Swift
7. Somebody That I Used to Know--Gotye ft. Kimbra
8. Royals--Lorde
9. All I Want for Christmas is You--Mariah Carey
10. Can't Feel My Face--The Weeknd
11. thank u, next--Ariana Grande
12. Can't Stop the Feeling!--Justin Timberlake
13. Teenage Dream--Katy Perry
14. S&M--Rihanna ft. Britney Spears
15. Starboy--The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk
16. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together--Taylor Swift
17. Imma Be--Black Eyed Peas
18. Blurred Lines--Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell
19. Blank Space--Taylor Swift
20. Old Town Road--Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
21. Locked Out of Heaven--Bruno Mars
22. Truth Hurts--Lizzo
23. Rude Boy--Rihanna
24. Sexy and I Know It--LMFAO
25. Grenade--Bruno Mars
26. Dark Horse--Katy Perry ft. Juicy J
27. Love the Way You Lie--Eminem ft. Rihanna
28. One More Night--Maroon 5
29. When I Was Your Man--Bruno Mars
30. Despacito--Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber
31. Lose You to Love Me--Selena Gomez
32. Happy--Pharrell Williams
33. Just the Way You Are--Bruno Mars
34. Love Yourself--Justin Bieber
35. Born This Way--Lady Gaga
36. Like a G6--Far East Movement ft. The Cataracs and Dev
37. Only Girl (In the World)--Rihanna
38. We Found Love--Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris
39. Sucker--Jonas Brothers
40. Work--Rihanna ft. Drake
41. Without Me--Halsey
42. The Monster--Eminem ft. Rihanna
43. Wrecking Ball--Miley Cyrus
44. Bad Blood--Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar
45. Circles--Post Malone
46. Whistle--Flo Rida
47. Thrift Shop--Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
48. Black Beatles--Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane
49. Not Afraid--Eminem
50. I Like It--Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin
51. The Hills--The Weeknd
52. Senorita--Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello
53. Shallow--Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
54. E.T.--Katy Perry ft. Kanye West
55. Can't Hold Us--Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton
56. Timber--Pitbull ft. Ke$ha
57. Bodak Yellow--Cardi B
58. Shape of You--Ed Sheeran
59. Just Give Me a Reason--Pink ft. Nate Reuss
60. Nice for What--Drake
61. Sad!--XXXTentacion
62. Black and Yellow--Wiz Khalifa
63. Someone Like You--Adele
64. Tik Tok--Ke$ha
65. Shake It Off--Taylor Swift
66. Someone You Loved--Lewis Capaldi
67. One Dance--Drake ft. WizKid and Kyla
68. OMG--Usher ft. will.i.am
69. 7 rings--Ariana Grande
70. Party Rock Anthem--LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock
71. Hold It Against Me--Britney Spears
72. Closer--The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
73. Set Fire to the Rain--Adele
74. Diamonds--Rihanna
75. Cheerleader--Omi
76. Raise Your Glass--Pink
77. We R Who We R--Ke$ha
78. Hello--Adele
79. Rockstar--Post Malone ft. 21 Savage
80. I'm the One--DJ Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, and Lil Wayne
81. SICKO MODE--Travis Scott
82. This is America--Childish Gambino
83. God's Plan--Drake
84. That's What I Like--Bruno Mars
85. Cheap Thrills--Sia ft. Sean Paul
86. We Are Young--fun. ft. Janelle Monae
87. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)--Katy Perry
88. Give Me Everything--Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, and Nayer
89. All of Me--John Legend
90. Panda--Desiigner
91. In My Feelings--Drake
92. Psycho--Post Malone ft. Ty Dolla Sign
93. Sorry--Justin Bieber
94. What Do You Mean?--Justin Bieber
95. Bad and Boujee--Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert
96. Call Me Maybe--Carly Rae Jepsen
97. Part of Me--Katy Perry
98. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)--Kelly Clarkson
99. Pillowtalk--Zayn
100. California Gurls--Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg
101. Break Your Heart--Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris
102. Heartless--The Weeknd
103. See You Again--Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth
104. HIGHEST IN THE ROOM--Travis Scott
105. Firework--Katy Perry
106. What's My Name?--Rihanna ft. Drake
107. Nothin' on You--B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars
108. Sunflower--Post Malone and Swae Lee
109. Roar--Katy Perry
110. Fancy--Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
111. Harlem Shake--Baauer
112. Girls Like You--Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B
113. Perfect--Ed Sheeran ft. Beyonce
114. All About That Bass--Meghan Trainor
115. Rude--Magic!
116. Moves Like Jagger--Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera
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