Because of the pro-Nebraska sentiments being expressed on Twitter by a "friend", I decided to search on The Google for a comprehensive rundown of the reasons why Nebraska football is just the worst. To my shock and horror, such a list does not exist. But it does now!
1. Nebraska fans are obnoxious and lame: Did you know that Nebraska has sold out every home football game since 1962? Well, if you've ever talked with a Nebraska fan for more than five minutes, you did! Because Nebraska fans like to cite their greatness in going to football games (and, I mean, they live in Nebraska, so it's not like they're showing tremendous football acumen by going to a game instead of watching corn or whatever other crap they'd be doing instead) more than they like to mention how Nebraska won "five" national titles (more on this later). And, in similar lameness to St. Louis Cardinals fans, Nebraska fans like to talk about how classy and nice they are to the opposition. While with Cardinals fans it's cheesy, with Nebraska fans it is actually dumb. In football, fans do have some ability to be disruptive and psychologically rip into opponents. No fan should ever be proud that they aren't doing this. They're decreasing their team's chances of winning.
2. Nebraska wins national titles they don't deserve: In 1970, they won the national title according to one of four polls that anyone cared about. They still cite this as a full national championship even though another school (Texas) won the championship in more polls. In 1994, they won the national title over a Penn State team that included two Heisman finalists and went undefeated in what was a superior conference. In 1997, they split a national title with a team that was so good that a friggin cornerback on their team beat Peyton Manning for the Heisman, and only got the split because they beat Missouri on a last-second touchdown in which a receiver illegally kicked (Nebraska fans and the rulebook disagree vehemently on the legality of the kick) a ball into the air for another receiver to catch. Not to be outdone, in 2001 they made the national title game as the #4 team in the country that didn't even win their own division and was down 34-0 at halftime.
3. Tom Osborne is a sanctimonious hypocrite: Tom Osborne, as head coach of Nebraska, enjoyed a reputation as a saintly figure. This, in spite of the fact that his teams were notoriously law-violating. Noted lunatic Lawrence Phillips was arrested for pushing his (fellow Nebraska student-athlete) girlfriend down a flight of stairs and, because Saint Tom, remained on the team. And Lawrence Phillips is Mother Teresa compared to Christian Peter (you can look up his past on your own time--I don't even want to think about or discuss it). But rather than being seen for what he is--a good football coach who cares more about winning games than running a clean program--Nebraska fans decided to elect Tom Osborne to Congress. In fact, he received 83% of the vote for a U.S. House seat in a district he hadn't lived in for 36 years. He eventually ran for Nebraska governor and almost beat an incumbent in the primaries, which would have solidified Nebraska as an even worse state than South Carolina, which is the worst state in the United States.
4. They fired Frank Solich: After Osborne came Frank Solich, a terrific person who helped to clean up the Nebraska program while maintaining success (maybe they didn't deserve to make the title game in 2001, but they certainly were a terrific team regardless). In 2003, Nebraska went 9-3. Most schools consider this an accomplishment. Nebraska fired Solich and replaced him with Bill Callahan, who several of his own players think purposely lost the Super Bowl for the Oakland Raiders.
5. This guy.
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