- I do not give a shit how influential a song is: Just save yourself the effort of complaining how I snubbed Robert Johnson or somebody like that who supposedly influenced Eric Clapton or Keith Richards because I do not care. This is a list of the best songs, as in the songs that I, in the year 2011, would most desire to listen to. It's the same reason that when people list their favorite books they usually don't list The Canterbury Tales--they don't care enough to learn Olde English to learn how to read it. By the same token I'm not going to become a pretentious dweeb who pretends to care about bluesmen who died when my grandparents were kids.
- Good lyrics don't hurt but they really aren't essential. Songs aren't literary works--their essential purpose is to make you feel a certain way, not to make you think a certain way. So I guess I'll apologize to those who think Bob Dylan, The Doors, or Rush belong on the list because they ain't (these acts are mediocre at best with lyrics, but that story is for another day).
- It's not just about making complex songs. So save me your complaints about the lack of Eddie Van Halen guitar anthems or (gasp) Yngwie Malmsteen 15-minute guitar solos that bore the hell out of even his hermit fans. A song can be fun and utterly simple and be a great song--Clerks was budgeted for under thirty grand and is a classic movie, while Pearl Harbor cost $140 million and may have been the biggest catastrophe since the actual attack on Pearl Harbor (it's called hyperbole, folks; spare me your letters).
Well, here goes.
10. Need You Tonight--INXS: It's just about the catchiest song in the history of the universe. It was an enormous hit when it came out in 1988 but some people will insist that it doesn't really stand the test of time. It sounds from the 80s but in the best possible ways--it has an excellent funky rock guitar riff. But for being essentially a 1980s dance track (or "new wave", if you prefer) it's actually quite simple--pretty straightforward drumming, bassline, and alterations on the guitar riff depending on whether it's in the chorus or verse. Also, I'm confident enough in my heterosexuality to admit that Michael Hutchence is straight up gorgeous in the video.
9. Columbia--Oasis: There's a ton of Oasis songs that are worthy of being called their best, but for my money it's the first song that ever got them any attention whatsoever (it was a demo and when it was released on their debut album it wasn't even a single, but whatever). It's not really influential in any sort of way but as far as intensely layered, guitar heavy hard rock anthems, Columbia is tough to beat. When the guitar riff finally kicks in about a minute into the song, it feels like a jet taking off. The closing guitar solo which takes up almost half of the song is the best guitar solo of Noel Gallagher's career. But the thing about the song that really sends chills up my spine is the chorus. The combination of Liam Gallagher, the lead vocalist who has a famously narrow range, and Noel Gallagher, whose vocals are less endearing but are generally more diverse, singing the chorus is absolutely perfect on the studio recording. The live versions are good, too, but never quite capture the harmony of the brilliant album version.
8. Hey Hey My My--Neil Young: According to people who care about this sort of thing, this song is the most important contribution that The Godfather Of Grunge gave to the genre. But, as I said before, screw influence. If I was just listing influential songs I'd say Marty McFly's classic "Johnny B. Goode" and move on. But Hey Hey My My is a great song regardless of influence. The guitar work is quintessential Neil Young--he basically just plays one note throughout but it's just the absolute perfect note. The vocals are technically average but evoke the anger of the song--the song is essentially Neil writing about how he's not just going to be a shadow of his old self because it's better to burn out cuz rust never sleeps. Note that I said Hey Hey My My and not his acoustic version, titled My My Hey Hey. This cannot be overstated.
7. Good Times Bad Times--Led Zeppelin: It's their first single and still their best song. The four geniuses of the band are all in top form on this song--I'm not a Jimmy Page or John Bonham worshiper like many others, and I prefer when the whole band is doing their thing. Robert Plant evokes his signature scream when he yells "I know what it means to be alone", Jimmy Page rips off an insane guitar solo in the middle of the song, John Paul Jones contributes a bassline that makes the song border on funk, but most importantly, Bonzo gives one of the all-time great drum performances by just pounding the shit out of his drum kit throughout the song. The song is pure energy; I'll take this song over Stairway any day of the week.
6. I Wanna Be Your Dog--The Stooges: For clarification, this song is by The Stooges. It's not by Iggy Pop or Iggy and the Stooges or Iggy Pop and the Stooges. This song is all to the credit of the entire band, and it's a damn good one. The song has some of the most underrated guitar playing I've ever heard--besides being an excellent riff and having a strong guitar solo and having a legendarily insane beginning, the guitar also stops in just the right places. These stops allow Iggy to throw in his nonchalant little lines to purely wonderful effect. Depending on who you ask the song is either an indictment of Vietnam or just a purely sexual song. Doesn't really matter. It's a perfect example of protopunk at its finest.
5. Holidays in the Sun--The Sex Pistols: Fine, Johnny Rotten can't sing. Fine, Sid Vicious is such an awful bassist that Steve Jones, not himself a virtuoso, had to overdub the bass parts on this and most Sex Pistols songs. Who gives a damn if the Sex Pistols were musically talentless? They made good songs! Would you rather listen to a Sex Pistols concert or an Emerson Lake and Palmer concert? Thought so. This is their best song because it has one of the best intros I've ever heard, it includes the perfect Steve Jones guitar solo (it doesn't deviate too terribly much from the main riff, but the main riff is fucking awesome so this is okay), and Johnny Rotten gets to yell to his fullest effect. It's also one of the better Pistols songs lyrically--rather than just being a blind attack at everything (which there is nothing wrong with), it's a direct attack at rich snobs who viewed East Germany as a vacation hotspot rather than an oppressed area. Kind of like the Dead Kennedys did a few years later with Holiday in Cambodia, but way more fun.
4. My Generation--The Who: It's still the best goddamned song they ever made. Not that their later epic ballads aren't also good, but the first punk song ever written was The Who at their best--rebellious, yet still full of immense talent. It's a well written song by Pete Townsend, the best bass solo in the history of the universe by John Entwistle, charismatic and enthusiastic as always drumming from Keith Moon, but the real start of the song is Roger Daltrey. It may not have the epic grandeur of his singing in, say, See Me Feel Me or Love Reign O'er Me, but the stutter vocals were an essential step in the evolution of rock and roll. Rock singers don't have to be fucking Sinatra up there--they aren't crooners. They're there to excite and to entice.
3. Sympathy for the Devil--The Rolling Stones: This is the point where songs become effing perfect. I really can't justify this song being behind numbers one and two, but it's hard to rank them. Sympathy for the Devil, though, is about as perfect as a song can get. Keith Richards has never played guitar better than on this song, with his weird and scattershot guitar riffs and solos. Charlie Watts, possibly the most underrated drummer in the history of rock, gets quite the task on this song but he lives up to it. Mick Jagger, not a great vocalist most of the time, is as good as it gets for this one brilliant song. This song is also one of the most quotable rock songs ever--for a band who mostly writes about how they can't get no satisfaction and how they were born in a crossfire hurricane and how if you start them up they'll never stop, the lyrics on this song are unbelievable. It's a rare rock song that actually is enhanced immensely by lyrics. "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste." "I shouted out who killed the Kennedys when after all, it was you and me." "Just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners saints, as heads is tails just call me Lucifer cuz I'm in need of some restraint." God these lyrics are great. Allegedly they're from a book I never read. I don't care.
2. Tomorrow Never Knows--The Beatles: It's really, really hard for me to describe how much I love this song without mentioning influence. So fuck it, I'm going to anyway. This song was written in 1966. If it was released in 2011, it would still sound ultra-modern. The song has been covered a decent number of times given that it's not really in the upper tier of Beatles songs in terms of popularity and yet none of the covers have even come close to the insanity of the original. The song sounds like a remix of some kind of John Lennon folk song. But enough about this song's timelessness--it's also a damn great song in its own right. The distorted Lennon vocals are changed up just right, the off-kilter drumming and backwards guitar loops add to the insanity of the song, and the lyrics may not be very direct poetry but they add to the insanity of the song. I can't even imagine being around when this song came out--I can virtually guarantee that if I was fourteen or older in 1966 I'd have bought Revolver and lost my shit when I heard this as the album closer. To give you some perspective, the biggest hit of the year before was fucking Unchained Melody. This song's a tad bit heavier than that one.
1. Girls and Boys--Blur: I have never seen this song listed as an all-time great song. Pitchfork, a terrible source, put it on their list of the best songs of the 1990s but nobody wants to say that Girls and Boys is an all-time great song. But it is! It is simultaneously hard rock and electro-dancepop, a gay anthem and a sexually conservative putdown, a stadium-worthy anthem and an indie ditty. Girls and Boys is, in one song, everything. Damon Albarn goes with his full British accent getup, Graham Coxon doesn't play as much guitar as he's used to but the riff is efficient, Alex James has the best bassline of the decade, and Dave Rowntree exists on drums (I kid, his drumming is proper for the song--a pretty basic disco type four on the floor beat). The song's video is one of the most intentionally moronic things ever--it's just a bunch of hedonistic partiers who look like tremendous tools dancing around and enjoying being young and rich. The cheesiness works to grand effect. Why I've never heard this song at a dance or party or something seems insane based on how fun musically it is--maybe its underlying anger is too much for some people to handle.
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