The Oscars tends to make quite a few egregious mistakes from time to time, particularly in crowning Best Picture winners. But as far as I'm concerned, these mistakes have generally been for the betterment of society. So here's a few parallel universe scenarios in which a terrible choice by the academy saved the universe.
In 1971, A Clockwork Orange lost out on the Best Picture award, losing to The French Connection, a movie that has exactly one good scene. By not giving Kubrick a Best Picture (and by extension, a Best Director award), it means Kubrick never got his Oscar. Which, given the way his career shaped out, is a good thing. In the 1960s and 1970s, Stanley Kubrick started getting a bunch of press as a directing genius and thus he stopped making movies. Seriously, he made his next movie after four years, and then five years, and then seven years, and then twelve years. Why? Because he was a pretentious prick who just needed to have tremendous control over everything he did. And this was without an Oscar. He never would have filmed Full Metal Jacket, the only movie he made after Clockwork Orange worth mentioning, at that rate. And thus I wouldn't know who R. Lee Ermey is. And thus life would be far less worth living.
In 1973, the wildly antiquated The Sting beat American Graffiti for Best Picture, which meant the world got Star Wars, which honestly I'm somewhat apathetic about. But what's important is that since George Lucas didn't get his Oscar, he had some limits. If you think George Lucas got a big head with the Star Wars franchise, can you imagine if he had an Oscar-winning film under his belt? You know how Jesus wasn't a character in Star Wars? Thank The Sting for that.
In 1976, in what has to be the most egregious Oscar mistake, the sentimental bullshit known as Rocky defeated Taxi Driver. Seriously. But while snubbing Martin Scorsese should never be considered a good thing, consider this: Scorsese would have given a speech. And, because this is Martin Scorsese in the 1970s, he would have been on a LOT of cocaine. And he would have made a scene. And he wouldn't have been able to make Raging Bull. Maybe he resuscitates for Goodfellas, but why risk it?
In 1979, melodrama Kramer vs. Kramer defeated epic Apocalypse Now, preventing Francis Ford Coppola from the immortal distinction of directing three Best Picture winners in the 1970s. Now, imagine how high Coppola's profile would have been with three Best Picture winners. You know how he made a mediocre third Godfather movie? Get ready for the fourth! Starring Sofia Coppola. Fuck the fact that Sofia's awful character died in the third--she's resurrecting! It's Last Temptation of Christ, but with Coppola. Instead, we were basically spared a full-fledged Sofia Coppola acting career and instead just have to deal with occasional boring, pretentious movies.
1980. Ordinary People over Raging Bull. See 1976.
In 1983, weepie Terms of Endearment beat the greatest space exploration movie of them all, The Right Stuff. But Terms of Endearment made James L. Brooks a magical name in entertainment. Thus he was able to not only co-create The Simpsons, but negotiate a plush deal in which they got total creative control. Thanks again, Jim Brooks. You did God's work. It was completely worth making this chick flick to get to it.
In 1990, Kevin Costner's Dances With Wolves beat Scorsese's Goodfellas. Thus Marty kept shooting for the stars. It's okay that Costner gave up directing good movies--he wasn't going to do anything that good anyway. But thanks to Scorsese being motivated, we got Casino just five years later. Costner was going to deliver Waterworld regardless.
In 1994, Forrest Gump beat Shawshank Redemption. And since Frank Darabont ONLY makes movies about prison, and the genre isn't THAT deep, it's probably for the best that he didn't get a blank check.
So basically, thank you Academy for not knowing what the hell you're doing. Much obliged.
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