Sunday, April 14, 2013

Johnapedia's Six Greatest Albums of All-Time (Right Now)

Lists of the greatest music albums ever are arbitrary and pointless. They are inevitably nitpicky, and about the most subjective entertainment group of them all. But still, I want in this action, so here are the Six Greatest Albums of All-Time (as of this moment, in my opinion)!

No rules or restrictions to this list. I'm allowed to list with regards to any genre and with no limits to how many of a certain band, era, style, etc. These are simply the six best albums there are in my opinion. It was hard to restrict some of my absolute favorite bands but in my opinion, none had individual albums as great as these.

6. The Cars--The Cars (1978): The "controversial" pick of the list, in that this is the album on here least likely to pop up on anyone's greatest ever list. Though I'm not sure why. It is a remarkably consistent album and you could argue it's the album whose worst track (probably "My Best Friend's Girl" or "All Mixed Up") is probably the best. It's a relentlessly fun album that doesn't exactly claim to make any sort of grandiose statement on life or love or whatever. Also, unlike virtually every other New Wave album, legitimate guitar solos! Couldn't find a one-video encapsulation of the album but this guy has a constantly looping playlist of the album's songs in sequential order and of good audio quality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BDBzgHXf64&playnext=1&list=PL23C71D00D0D12AE8&feature=results_main

5. The Stone Roses--The Stone Roses (1989): It's a pop album in the kind of mold I'd like all pop to be built. It's not about hooks and it's not about style--it's about a collection of great, well-written songs. The album has a few tracks that are clearly beneath the quality of the album's best, but the standouts are absolutely fucking brilliant. I'm thoroughly convinced that Ian Brown and John Squire didn't write "I Wanna Be Adored", and that they actually discovered it naturally while tripping their balls off on peyote in the desert somewhere. A close #2 in terms of song qualities is "I Am the Resurrection", which is half solid rock song and half insane jam band shit. It also has the coolest breakdown basically in song history. The below video is actually the deluxe version of the album, which is the same as the original except it has Fools Gold (which is an awesome 10 minute song that is very much in the same vein as the album) at the end. Consider it a bonus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_MvBrEkL1Q

4. Purple Rain--Prince (1984): The fact that I admire the hell out of Prince for his versatility and showmanship is of relatively little significance in evaluating this album--the fact that it is a terrific collection of songs is what matters. In spite being one of the biggest commercial hit albums of the 1980s, it's pretty damn experimental--it has funk, R&B, pop, hard rock, gospel, new wave--and all of it is equally strong. It would be higher on the list in all likelihood if it weren't for "I Would Die 4 U". That song sucks. To the surprise of absolutely nobody in the history of the internet, this album is not on YouTube, but I did stumble across the title track somehow up here and not replaced by generic muzack because Prince said so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmKvUeIz44w

3. Revolver--The Beatles (1966): To me, the relative quality of Beatles music in relation to the time is a bell curve. They started off making lame pop songs and ended making burned-out pop songs and in between they made some great shit, peaking with this album. In spite of "Good Day Sunshine", this is the most consistent Beatles album and piles classics upon classics, alternating between songs that you could imagine the Beatles making in 1963 ("Got To Get You Into My Life") and songs that would have sounded insane and ahead of their time had they been released in 2006 ("Tomorrow Never Knows"). In contrast to the vastly overrated Sgt. Pepper's, the album holds up as a great listen. Also, you could argue it includes the best composition of Lennon ("Tomorrow Never Knows"), McCartney ("Eleanor Rigby"), and Harrison ("Taxman").

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEz2YD-w2jc

2. Definitely Maybe--Oasis (1994): In contrast to the band's stateside reputation as "the band that did Wonderwall", their debut is a heavy hard rock album. I fell in love with this band within the first thirty seconds of "Supersonic" and will never not love blasting "Columbia" as I drive down the highway with my window down during the summer. The lyrics are relatively terrible ("relatively" because Oasis phoned in even trying even more on their next album) and some of the songs blatantly ripoff major elements of other songs (though not identical in an Under Pressure/Ice Ice Baby way, the IMMENSE similarities between the guitar riff of "Cigarettes and Alcohol" and T. Rex's "Bang a Gong (Get It On)"). But I love listening to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAp8sH1h2iY

1. Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols--The Sex Pistols (1977): Another fun album, but one whose pure joy is sadly neglected in the annals of history. Music snobs will dismiss the album because they think Johnny Rotten can't sing (if I like the sound coming out of his voice, he can sing to me) and because Sid Vicious can't play bass (he can't but he also barely appears on the album so it doesn't matter), but the album, like my #2, is heavy and fun and full of life, but also with a pseudo-political awareness. It's not high intellectual stuff, but it projects a legitimate anger that set off a goddamned firestorm in England when it came out. I think I would rioted over it just because I wanted an excuse to hear the guitar solo in "Holidays in the Sun" more and more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJwSON85F2o

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